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Food

It took me a minute

Until I realized that they mean that it tastes very good.

This is exactly what I need in my life right now.

Cheeky Barista

When baristas at Starbucks ask me for my name so they can write it on my cup, I don’t like to give my real name. It’s a personal quirk. As a small token of rebellion against the system, I give a fake name.

Usually I’m “Phil,” for some reason. Today, though, I decided to be Ed, because I was in a hurry, and I figured that it would be pretty hard to mess up that name.

“My name is Ed,” I said as clearly as I could, thinking to myself, “that should be easy.”

Boy, did I not expect this. Did he think I had a cold?

Truth in advertising

I ordered the “egg-free breakfast with beans.”

Not a single egg in that bowl of beans!

Is it just me?

Or is this butter NSFW?

Magic Hand Wipes in a Japanese Restaurant

After this experience, I may have to move to Japan.

Excellent compromise

I usually enjoy a cup of coffee in the afternoon. But our office holiday party was held in the afternoon this week, at a local micro-brewery.

Coffee vanilla porter bridged the gap perfectly.

If you’re within earshot of my sister,…

…plug your ears. Loud remonstrations will commence in 3…2…1…

Selling meat al fresco in Hanoi. Reason #486 why KJW will never visit me in Vietnam.

I am a YouTube Violator

So apparently my food videos are offensive to The Powers That Be at YouTube. I was just notified that my video violated YouTube’s delicate sensitivities.

This is part of the notification:

Your video “Ca Loc in Danang” was flagged for review. Upon review, we’ve determined that it violates our guidelines. We’ve removed it from YouTube and assigned a Community Guidelines strike, or temporary penalty, to your account.

I thought it might be a spearfishing attempt, so I went to my YouTube page. Sure enough, this snippet of text was waiting for me:

The video is question is an 11-second shot of my lunch: clay-pot fish. Sure, it’s “steamy,” but not in the pornographic sense:

Does this video offend you?

What “Community Guideline” does this video violate? Here are the categories, according to YouTube’s website:

Nudity or sexual content: Admittedly, the fish is not wearing any clothes. Maybe this is the one?

Harmful or dangerous content: Well, if you asked the fish, it would probably say that the video isn’t good for its health.

Hateful content: Some people don’t like fish, it’s true. Maybe this is the one?

Violent or graphic content: I’m sure that the fish was murdered. This could be the one!

Harassment and cyberbullying: Um…

Spam, misleading metadata, and scams: It’s fish, not spam. Pretty sure this one is out.

Threats: No one is saying anything bad will happen to you if you don’t eat the fish.

Copyright: It’s my video. I shot it, I own it.

Privacy: Again, the fish is nude. So, maybe…

Impersonation: The fish isn’t trying to push itself off as anything but a fish.

Child endangerment: You’ve got me: some kids don’t like fish. This definitely could be the one.

 

I assume that this is an AI fail. But it’s pretty funny to think that my food video was found to be inappropriate.

Mom, look away…

My mother isn’t a fan of cantaloupe. So I didn’t buy this for her. If she ever makes me mad, though…,