I checked off another item on my bucket list

When I was in high school, I saw the concert movie: “The Secret Policeman’s Other Ball,” which had several skits by Monty Python. One of the skits made me laugh so hard I almost lost control of my bladder.

Ever since then, I’ve wanted to perform the skit.

When my sons were old enough, I proposed performing it with them, but they refused. Can’t blame them, who wants to make themselves look silly on stage? But, I was still left with this unfulfilled goal.

Finally, I saw my big chance. Every year the Consulate throws a party to celebrate the Chinese New Year. Consulate staff are invited to be part of a talent/variety show. Last year I made a fool of myself in a green wig. This year, I enlisted two colleagues who are good sports and willing to indulge the weird fantasies of a strange little man.

I waited more than 30 years to do this. It was great. Thanks to S and D for making my dream come true!

A shared moment with a taxi driver

Yesterday on the way home from work, the taxi driver put on some music. The song was an old Mandarin pop song from Taiwan that was popular in 1990. It was one of my favorite songs at the time, and I remembered it well. I started humming along, then noticed that the driver was humming along as well. Then he noticed that I was humming along. Then we noticed that we noticed each other humming along. Just then the chorus of the song came on. We made eye contact, and burst into song together.

He was surprised that I knew the song. I told him that I was living in Taiwan when it came out. We talked about Mandarin pop music and our favorite singers. Our respective musical tastes overlapped a lot. He said that he preferred songs from the 80s and 90s, because the lyrics captured his emotions. I told him that totally agreed.

It was a person-to-person diplomatic moment. Even though we come from very different backgrounds, we share a common taste in pop music. We talked about our feelings as much as men who don’t know each other are comfortable doing. We made a connection. I don’t have a word to describe the situation that isn’t a cliche like “cool” or “neat,” but it was those things.

This is the song that was playing:

I can’t believe I read the whole thing

I finally finished the book that I have been reading since March. I bought a historical novel, and started reading it before I realized that it was part one of four.  

 The story was pretty good, and it takes place during my favorite historical period in China (the Republican period), so I bit the bullet and bought the other three volumes. Little by little, I worked my way through the 1600+ pages.

When I finished volume four tonight, I rewarded myself with a glass of good scotch.

Now I have to decide what to read next.

Wow, I am really a geek, but at least I solved my problem.

After 20+ hours of traveling yesterday, my mind had turned into pudding. When the plane landed in DC, I collected my carry-on, but forgot that I had put my book in the seat pocket. It wasn’t until I was in the taxi to the hotel that I remembered my book.

This wasn’t the first time that I’d left something on a plane (and because I know myself pretty well, it probably won’t be the last time, either), but this was a big inconvenience for me in a number of ways. First, I was almost done with the book, and I really wanted to finish it. Second, it was in Chinese, so it will be hard to replace. Bookstores in the U.S. don’t usually carry Chinese books, and almost certainly wouldn’t carry this one.

The worst inconvenience is that the book is one of a series. The one that I lost was third in a series of four. I can’t start the fourth one until I finish the third one, and I can’t finish the third one because it’s on an airplane somewhere. I brought book four with my on this trip, under the assumption that I would finish book 3 soon, and could start on book 4. Book four sits on my desk in my hotel room now, watching me with ancicipation, waiting for me to finish book three so that I can get started on it.
But wait, you say. Don’t you live in China? Aren’t there book stores in China? Just get another copy there, stupid! Yes, I answer you, but you don’t understand, I special-ordered it from Taiwan, because I wanted the version that’s printed in traditional Chinese characters, not simplified characters. Books in China are only in simplified Chinese. If I want to replace this book, I’ll have to wait until the next time that I go to Taiwan.

So I was irritated at myself for being a pudding-head and losing the book. But then I remembered that many Chinese books are available online. A quick Google search turned up the book in digital form, ready for anyone (like, for example, me) to download. Right there online, ready for harvesting.

I turned to crime in order to solve my problem. I downloaded the book. I am a cybercriminal. I justify my illegal actions with the reasoning that I had already bought the book, so I wasn’t depriving the publisher or author of any money by downloading a digital version of what I had already purchased. Amazon recently started a program where they give you a digital version of books that you by in print form. So I can think of what I did as a DIY version of that program. That reasoning should enable me to avoid a guilty conscience.

The problem was that the digital book that I had downloaded was in simplified Chinese, which I can read, of course, but I really prefer to read traditional characters. What to do, what to do?

If I had had a laptop computer, I could have used the function that’s built in to OS X to convert between simplified and traditional Chinese. But all I had was my iPhone, which doesn’t have that function.

So I found a website that will do the conversion. Using my phone’s tiny keyboad, I copied the book text, pasted it into the form, converted it, copied the converted text, and pasted it into Pages on my iPhone. Then I emailed the file to my Kindle. I now have a digital version of my lost book, in beautiful traditional Chinese characters, on my Kindle.

Who wants to bet that I’ll lose the Kindle before I get back to China?

Today is my Chinaversary

One year ago today I “arrived at post,” as we say. It was a Friday evening. My sponsors met me at the airport,  helped me to check in to my apartment, and showed me how to acclimate to my new living situation. Thanks, R and M!

What a year it has been! I have applied what I learned in training, re-learned what I forgot, and learned what I didn’t learn but should have. My work and life here in China has been tiring, funny, exasperating, rewarding, inspiring, and humbling.

One thing it has never been is boring. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I have never been bored since arriving in China.

At the end of the initial orientation in DC, our instructors read to us the classic Dr. Seuss book Oh, The Places You’ll Go! Several lines in that book stuck with me, and still resonate, because they capture some truths about being a diplomat:

Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don’t. Because sometimes you won’t.

And this one:

Whether you like it or not, alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

One year in, I still think that this job is perfect for me. I can’t really describe the pride that I feel when I represent my country abroad.

Thanks to my friends and family for your support, thanks to my great coworkers for your hard work and inspiration, and thanks to the taxpayers for paying my salary. (side note: travel and tourism is one of America’s biggest exports; foreign tourism supports 1.1 million U.S. jobs. In that light, the taxpayers are getting a good return on the investment that the government makes in embassies and consulates abroad).

I am now at the halfway point in my two-year “tour.” There’s so much more that I want to do, to see, to experience while I’m in China. I want to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life. So I’m going to stop writing and go outside now. As the good Dr. Seuss wrote:

“You’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So… get on your way!”

My teacher quit, and all I got was this unbuyable book

My Chinese teacher has decided that she wants to try to get a job teaching in a university. In China, university teachers are civil servants, and so in order to get a job in the university, you have to pass a special civil service exam. She decided that she needs some time to prepare for this test, so she has quit her job in the language school.

Yesterday was my last Chinese lesson with my teacher. She has been amazingly patient with me over the past eight or nine months that I’ve been taking lessons from her. I used to joke that I have been learning Chinese longer than she has, which is actually true, because she is quite young.

Some months ago, we were talking about the unbuyable book that I had unsuccessfully tried to purchase. Yesterday, she presented me with a copy. She said that she was able to find it online. She told me that after I told her about the book, she became intrigued, and wanted to read it. She got a copy for herself, and one for me. I wonder if she got interested in the air pollution problem partly because of the articles about pollution that I chose as reading material for classes.

There is a saying in Chinese that students and teachers learn from each other 教學相長. I certainly learned a lot from her, and I suspect that he learned a thing or two from me as well.

Life goes on.

IMG_0021.JPG

The unbuyable book!

 

The Ice Bar

As part of the ice festival, the hotel constructed a bar made of ice.

The ice bar.

The ice bar.

I ordered a shot of vodka, and asked it to be poured into my glass through the ice trough.

The ice trough. It cools the drink waaaay down.

The ice trough. It cools the drink waaaay down.

The vodka was poured into a cup made of ice.

It was good vodka. Was it worth $10? Probably not. However, it was probably worth $10 to enjoy a shot of vodka served in an ice cup, poured through an ice trough, inside a building made of ice.