I am an international arms smuggler

Going through security in Shanghai, my bag was flagged by the X-Ray operator. He said that I had a pair of scissors in my bag. I said that no, I didn’t think so, and invited the security people to look.

After a few minutes of searching my bag, they discovered a small credit card-sized tool that has a tiny scissors tool on it. Very sternly, they told me that such a dangerous weapon was not allowed on airplanes by the Chinese aviation authorities.


They asked if I was returning, and if I wanted a receipt so that I could pick it up when I return. Without thinking, I said yes, and they led me to another counter where they filled out a receipt and gave it to me.

I forgot that on my return flight, I will not be flying through Shanghai, so I will not be able to retrieve my “very dangerous weapon.” Maybe they can put it to good use, possibly for training exercises on how to disarm hijackers.

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