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December, 2015:

I hit the Engrish jackpot

Last night we had dinner at one of the most famous local restaurants in Hangzhou. I won’t disclose the name of the place, because the English translations of many dishes were ridiculously bad, and I don’t want to embarrass the guilty party. Unfortunately, many of the pictures are blurry, because I was laughing so hard when I took them, it was hard to hold the camera steady. For your enjoyment, here are the highlights.

Red oil his head

Bad sweet hairtail

Multidemensional beautiful blueberry juice

Multidimensional better aloe yogurt

Crisp sweet shoe

Experience that fish stew bullfrog

The green spiral frog meat stew

Burning flesh

Three fresh bean curd stick to talk on.

Oil until shrimp

Bean curd stick burned child row

Peaceful type to swim silk

Shrimp explosion of eel

Pickles hot peppers fry a few

Sprint fish more than

Onions fried bag

Vegetarian mushroom pot when bacteria

Fresh spinach grinding

Green moss of burning flesh

Beauty is silver piece shrimp

Sweet cattle increment in the ribs

The sauce detonation eel roll of cabbage in clay pot

In a duck

Loose fish taste volume

Pumpkin burn octopus

Paper is element of

Very beautiful fried fans

Feeding stinky tofu

Merry Christmas with Tree!

No, you didn’t read that wrong, unfortunately.

 

Lipstick on a pig.

You can arrange them into pretty designs all you want, but dried sea cucumbers still look like little turds.

   
 

If only it were that simple.

 

Night on the water.

On the water taxi in Wuzhen.

   
 

Pretty sad when you think about it.

I was going through the cash in my wallet this morning, and noticed this bill:

   
 The bill is old and was ripped, and has been meticulously taped back together.

It’s worth about 16¢.

I wouldn’t go through all that trouble for 16¢. Would you? If this bill were mine, I’d just toss it out.

But 16¢ meant enough to somebody that when the old bill ripped apart (or just wore through, from the look at it), it was worth their time and effort to tape it back together.

This bill’s experience reflects the economic reality of a portion of Chinese society. There are people in this country that are so poor that a bill that can’t even buy a bottle of water in the city means something to them.

Um… Dude…

… I hope I’m not the first one to tell you this, but I think you really should know: you are not black.

   
 

Before and after 

Which is which?

  

Does your love ride dandelion?

  

I’m afraid to taste this

Banana flavored cheese. What will they think of next? Wait, don’t answer that. I’m too afraid to know.